well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
