Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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