so explain again why im purple
no
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
