D3 body, D1 cock
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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