I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ladies don't puke and tell
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
