Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
