Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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