That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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