How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
