Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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