Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
