You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
