Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
