Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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