Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we should paint friendship bongs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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