Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
