is your mom at the bar?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
