What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
