Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
