Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
