I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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