Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i jhust puked up my retainher.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
