Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
two words...techno handjob
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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