You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
