You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
