i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
