i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
