it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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