Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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