you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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