I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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