I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
