I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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