pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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