if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
