Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
