you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
