whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
her facebook's as public as her vagina
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
