id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
