did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
