Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
