just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Tell her she can't have a vagina
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
