love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So many bounce houses so little time
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
