The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
