i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
