idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
