this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
