Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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