i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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