guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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