I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
